I think the natural tendency when looking for a partner is to focus on THEM. Focus on the way we want them to look, on how smart we want them to be, what kind of personality we want them to have, etc.
We talk to our friends about what we are looking for and we either go out and search or we just sit and wait.
The problem with that is that finding the RIGHT person and getting them to go out with you is largely outside your control.
So rather than going out with a net, trolling the bottom trying to “find the right one,” try to attract them instead. As Justin Su’a said on our podcast,”Like attracts like.”
So if you want someone that is patient, then you yourself work on being more patient. Want someone more open-minded? Then work on it yourself. Someone confident that works on overcoming all of their insecurities? Well then you have to do that work too to earn the right to be with a person of that caliber.
“Love finds you when you least expect it” because you are focused on building the qualities of the person you want to be with rather than being busy searching.
The same goes for friendship and leadership.
If you do happen to attract and hook the person of your dreams, the way to keep them is the same way you got them. Keep working on yourself. Be ever more honest, compassionate, thoughtful, open-minded, etc. It takes two to tango, but all that is in your control is the work you do on yourself and the attitude you bring to the relationship.