It is easy to look at others and think about what they could do better, how you would have done it, or things they do that upset you. You might try and explain “well, maybe next time you can do it this way.” “If you spoke to me with these words, I wouldn’t have reacted that way.”
One of the most effective ways that I have seen to get people doing things the way you want them to is by doing it yourself. You want someone to be kinder, you should be kinder. You want someone to practice gratitude more often, you should practice gratitude more often.
People forget the things you say and ask for but it is hard for them to ignore the way you act and the things you do. My mother used to always tell me “talk is cheap” and I couldn’t agree more. If you really do think that the way you want them to do things is better, more effective, or more polite it will be easier to prove when they see how it works for you.
Next time you want someone to do something differently think to yourself if you behave the way you want them to. I bet in most cases you don’t, and that is your first step.