I think it is safe to say we have all had a moment in our lives where you are trying to better yourself and hear some negative feedback. It could be going to the gym, following a new diet, saying no to some drinks, deciding to spend quality time with your significant other, or starting a new course.
You may have heard:
“Do you really need to track everything you eat? One piece of pizza won’t kill you.”
“You are already skinny you don’t need to diet.”
“O my goodness you’re so obsessed with the gym.”
“You’re so lame. Let loose for once and have some drinks with us!”
That kind of feedback is almost always coming from a place of insecurity in the person providing it. If they can convince you to stop succeeding or working to better yourself, they will feel better about whatever it is they are self conscious about.
The thing is that we innately want to make others feel better or avoid having them dislike us. We CRAVE connection and this threatens that. So we will cave, we won’t stand our ground, and we will eat that pizza, or have those drinks. Doing what you set out to do even when everyone around you is trying to convince you not to is hard and uncomfortable, it is easy to give in and follow the majority. I am going to challenge you to make a different choice and shift your mindset.
My coach Annie Lalla taught me that It is your responsibility to stand up for their greatness.
This applies to your friendships, family, and intimate relationships. It is your responsibility to do whatever it is anyways. If you care about them, you need to push through the discomfort and do what is best for YOU. The funny thing is that this has just as much to do with making you better and making THEM better. This will help them be their best selves. I know it seems counterintuitive but I will explain why this works.
People won’t do as you say. You might encourage them to take control of their nutrition, to try a new diet, to head to the gym, or to have a difficult conversation with someone they have conflict with. But I am sure you have been in those situations where they just don’t listen. The reason is because that doesn’t work. What does work is SHOWING them what prioritizing your health and fitness looks like, what being happy and confident means, and when they see you sticking to your guns even in the face of adversity they will forget about trying to bring you down and ask you for help.
Those comments will turn into:
“So, tell me a little more about this fitness thing you’re doing.”
“You inspired me to go to focus on my nutrition and really push myself.”
“Thank you for really setting an example of what dedication looks like.”
Try it. I dare you.